Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Don't step on the ducks


Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.

St. Peter chains them together and says, 'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on, very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?'

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!'


This one is really worth passing on.


The Seed



The Seed

A successful business man was growing old and
knew it was time to choose a successor to take over the business.

Instead of choosing one of his Directors or his children,
he decided to do something different. He called all the young
executives in his company together.

He said, "It is time for me to step down and choose the next CEO.
I have decided to choose one of you. "The young executives were
shocked, but the boss continued. "I am going to give each one
of you a SEED today - one very special SEED. I want you to plant
the seed, water it, and come back here one year from today with
what you have grown from the seed I have given you. I will then
judge the plants that you bring, and the one I choose will be
the next CEO."

One man, named Jim, was there that day and he, like the others,
received a seed. He went home and excitedly, told his wife the
story. She helped him get a pot, soil and compost and he planted
the seed. Everyday, he would water it and watch to see if it had
grown. After about three weeks, some of the other executives began
to talk about their seeds and the plants that were beginning to grow.

Jim kept checking his seed, but nothing ever grew.

Three weeks, four weeks, five weeks went by, still nothing.

By now, others were talking about their plants, but Jim didn't have
a plant and he felt like a failure.

Six months went by -- still nothing in Jim's pot. He just knew he
had killed his seed. Everyone else had trees and tall plants, but
he had nothing. Jim didn't say anything to his colleagues, however.
He just kept watering and fertilizing the soil - He so wanted the
seed to grow.

A year finally went by and all the young executives of the company
brought their plants to the CEO for inspection.

Jim told his wife that he wasn't going to take an empty pot.
But she asked him to be honest about what happened. Jim felt sick
to his stomach, it was going to be the most embarrassing moment
of his life, but he knew his wife was right. He took his empty pot
to the board room. When Jim arrived, he was amazed at the variety
of plants grown by the other executives. They were beautiful --
in all shapes and sizes. Jim put his empty pot on the floor and
many of his colleagues laughed, a few felt sorry for him!

When the CEO arrived, he surveyed the room and greeted his young
executives.

Jim just tried to hide in the back. "My, what great plants, trees,
and flowers you have grown," said the CEO. "Today one of you will
be appointed the next CEO!"

All of a sudden, the CEO spotted Jim at the back of the room with
his empty pot. He ordered the Financial Director to bring him to
the front. Jim was terrified. He thought, "The CEO knows I'm a
failure! Maybe he will have me fired!"

When Jim got to the front, the CEO asked him what had happened
to his seed - Jim told him the story.

The CEO asked everyone to sit down except Jim. He looked at Jim,
and then announced to the young executives, "Behold your next
Chief Executive Officer!

His name is Jim!" Jim couldn't believe it. Jim couldn't even grow
his seed.

"How could he be the new CEO?" the others said.

Then the CEO said, "One year ago today, I gave everyone in this
room a seed. I told you to take the seed, plant it, water it,
and bring it back to me today. But I gave you all boiled seeds;
they were dead - it was not possible for them to grow.

All of you, except Jim, have brought me trees and plants and
flowers. When you found that the seed would not grow, you
substituted another seed for the one I gave you. Jim was the
only one with the courage and honesty to bring me a pot with
my seed in it. Therefore, he is the one who will be the new
Chief Executive Officer!"

* If you plant honesty, you will reap trust

* If you plant goodness, you will reap friends

* If you plant humility, you will reap greatness

* If you plant perseverance, you will reap contentment

* If you plant consideration, you will reap perspective

* If you plant hard work, you will reap success

* If you plant forgiveness, you will reap reconciliation

* If you plant faith, you will reap a harvest

So, be careful what you plant now;
it will determine what you will reap later.


How to stay young‏


Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids?r
If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.r

"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a
half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.r

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next
number, or even a few ahead.r

"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13, but hey, you're
gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!r

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like
bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?r

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.r
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you
REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.r

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!r

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.r

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a
day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!r

You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.r
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was
JUST 92."r

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little
kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!" May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!r

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.r
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them "

Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.r

Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,r
whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's
workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.r

Enjoy the simple things.r

Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.r

The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is
with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.r

Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets,r
keepsakes, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.r

Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,r
improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.r

Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next
county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.r


Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments
that take our breath away.

Anatomy of a true friends


Eyes:r
Will always see you for the way you really are,r
your true self.r


Ears:r
Will always have them open to listen.r



Mouth:r
To always tell you the truth and give their opinions,r
tell you when you mess up or do something good.r


Shoulders:r
Will offer when you need one to cry on
and will be your strength when you
find it hard to carry yourself.r
Will always let you lean on them.r


Heart:r
To love you for who you are and not judge.r
Will always have a place there for you.r


Hands:r
To hold yours when you need a little guidance,r
to lend when you need help,r
and to help you up when you may fall.r


Arms:r
Will always make you feel comfortable in them
and to offer hugs when you need one.r
Will try to warm when you are cold.r


Feet:r

To walk with you throughout your life

and be the best friend they can be.

Just Remember Allah



Just Remember Allah


When things are down, R
And you are out of your mind, r
Just Remember,R
Allah is The All-Kind. R


When your life is in darkness,R
And nothing is right, R
Just Remember, R
Through the darkness, R
Allah is The Light. R


When nothing makes sense, R
And your heading for demise, R
Just Remember,R
It doesn't make sense but, Allah is The All-Wise.R


When times are troubled, R
And no one seems to care, R
Just Remember, R
Allah won't hurt you, He is Just.R


When your heart is breaking, R
And your pain makes you fall, R
Just Remember, R
Allah Sees all.R


When you are weak, R
And the road seems long, R
Just Remember, R
Seek strength from The All-Strong.R


When life is a burden, R
And everything is unstable, R
Just Remember,R
Allah is Able to do all.R


When the way is cloudy, R
And there is no one by your side, R
Just Remember,R
Allah is The Only Guide.R


When no one wants to listen, R
Or is willing to lend an ear, R
Just Remember,R
Allah is the All-Hearing.R


When you are poor and penniless, R
And you are stuck in a niche, R
Just Remember,R
Allah is The Rich.R


When you are down in your misery, R
And there is nowhere to run, R
Just Remember,R
You can always run to The One.R


When you r all alone, R
And your pain has no end, R
Just Remember
Allah is the only one you can depend on. R


And when your scars are hurting, R
And your heart is in fear, R
Just Remember,R
Allah is with those who are patient

Computer Man

A man who studies computer science loved a girl
he sent her a letter saying:r


I LOVE YOU MORE THAN MY COMPUTER

Believe me it is true.. You installed the best in me.r

Your picture is always in my background. You clicked my heart gently.r

You drive me crazy when I see you.r

Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me.r

You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted. r

I'm always connected to you with more than 256 heartbeats per second. r

You hacked my brain and registered your name in it

You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my emotions at the same time

I feel lost when I try to call you and you are not responding

I always feel you close to me when I shut
down my eyes, or when I open my windows waiting for you to pass

You are the only one that can log into my heart and never log out

I dream of being your Only server as long as I live

You don't have to search for me, cause we are always linked to each others

I see your name everywhere, my Front Page, my homepage and all my software

I scanned my life and found that I'm only infected by you

You are the virus I'd never remove, and why should I do? You formatted my life and
added happiness to view.r

Believe me it is true.. I love you more than my CPU

You're Like A Dream



||||You're like a dream||||


heaven found in the blue seas
You took my hand
and shared with me what I could not see
You took my hand
and showed me what life should be
You're like a dream
wind waving in the green trees




||||You're like the rain||||


embracing the world with a gentle
You gave me your heart
when I could not give much
You gave me your heart
when I could only offer tears and such
You're like the rain
awakening the flowers from their slumbering slouch




||||You're like the wind||||



echoing waves across stormy waters
You showed me hope
when I felt so much smaller
You showed me hope
when the pieces wouldn't fit together
You're like the wind
soothing as morning dew in the summer



||||You're like heaven||||


so enticing in golden honor
You loved me
even when I was a fallen solider
You loved me
even when my words were as harsh as armor
You're like heaven
delivering dreams to all the dreamers.
....You're like a dream


........


....I hope that he admired....

Type Of Girls


~*~Type Of Girls~*~


HARD DISK GIRLS:

she remembers everything, FOREVER




RAM GIRLS:

she forget about you, the moment turn her off




WINDOW GIRLS:

everyone know that she can't do a thing right, but no one can live

without her.




SCREENSAVER GIRLS:

She is good for nothing but at least she is fun



INTERNET GIRLS:

difficult to access



SERVER GIRLS:

Always busy when you need her.


MULTIMEDIA GIRLS:

She make horrible thing look beautiful



CD-ROM GIRLS:

She is always faster and faster.


EMAIL GIRLS:

Every ten things she says, eight are nonsense.




VIRUS GIRLS:

Also known as "wife'' when you are not expecting her, she comes,

install herself and uses all your resources. If you try to uninstall

her you will lose something, if don't try you uninstall her you will

lose everything...

The Greatest Pain in Life



hallo


The Greatest Pain in Life


***********

The greatest pain in life
is not to die, but to be ignored



***********

To lose the person you love so
much to another who doesn't care at all


***********

The greatest pain in life, is not to die, but to be forgotten



***********

When you show someone your innermost thoughts and he laughs in your
face



***********

For friends to always be too busy to console you when you need
someone to lift your spirits



***********

When it seems like the only person who cares about you, is you


***********

Life is full of pain, but does it ever ************ better?


***********

Will people ever care about each other,and make time for those who are in need



***********

Each of us has a part to play
in this great play we call life



***********

Each of us has a duty to mankind
to tell our friends we love them


***********

If you do not care about your friends
you will not be punished


***********

You will simply be ignored... forgotten... as you have done to others

see ya

Different between Thanks & Thank you

it just came in mind those two

normal words we all use

all time " Thank You " and " Thanks"

Thank You and Thanks are very nice

and comforting words , they explain

how greatful you are and show

the other side the deserved respect

they two have the same meaning

but when we should use each one of them

everyone of them has its own situation to use


Thank You :it should be used with
someone whom you do not know very well

Thanks :it could be used with
relatives and friends only, you cannot
use it with a stranger

Funny but True Facts

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
____________ _________ ________

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs

A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

____________ _________ ________

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
____________ _________ ________

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
____________ _________ _________

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

____________ _________ _________

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
____________ _________ ________

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

____________ _________ ________

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals

Missing Wife! very nice

A man went to police station to file a report for his missing wife:r


Man: I lost my wife (misty)r
Inspector: What is her height
Man; I never noticed
Inspector: Slim or healthy
Man: Not slim can be healthy
Inspector: Color of eyes
Man: Never noticed
Inspector: Color of hair

Man: Changes according to season
Inspector: What was she wearing
Man: I don’t remember exactly
Inspector: Was somebody with her ?????????r
Man: Yes my Labrador dog (Romeo), tied with a golden chain, height 30 inches, healthy, blue eyes, blackish brown hair, his left foot thumb nail is slightly broken, he never barks, wearing a golden belt studded with blue balls, he likes non veg food, we eat together, we jog together & the man started crying

Inspector: Lets search for the dog first !!!!!!!!!!!!!r